Daybreak | IC Inbox.

[deuteranope]

RICKY MARTEN-TAYLOR
UN: WEASELING

STATUS: Student, 11th 12th Grade.

ACCOLADES: n/a.

BIO: my name is fucking maverick (the fucking is optional) not ricky, I'm first dad to the best cat what else is even more important than that like really
19 // he/him // fluent in english & french
hmu if you want me to #freesomething
#FREETHELEASH
#FREETHEBEATS #BUTDON'TCAUSETREBLE

© TESSISAMESS

Comments

[unpocoloco]

[Maverick's a good kid. A really good kid.]

How lucky we are to have said angels in our lives. And how lucky they are to get to be treated by you in this way.

You're right. About deserving cute things and ways to spend mornings.

You've also enabled me terribly for walking you up early again. A dangerous came, chamaco. But perhaps I'll have mercy.

[deuteranope]

try it and I will whittle your femur into a sick new knife to play with, perezoso

[unpocoloco]

You wouldn't. I feel all my bones. I'd feel it every time you picked it up. Let the knowledge sink in and consider how uncomfortable that would be. For you.

[deuteranope]

[well there's an image that's going to haunt his dreams in multiple ways. time to deflect with humor.]

I'm telling Tía you wanted me to think about feeling up your bone multiple times

[unpocoloco]

I didn't want any of this. You suggested the bone whittling and now you have to live with the consequences.

[deuteranope]

specifically your morning wood because this is hypothetically taking place early in the morning after you probe me awake

[unpocoloco]

Hmm, that's a strange thing to call a bone. You kids with your lingo. A grandpa like me just can't keep up, I guess.

[Is he playing dumb? He's playing dumb.]

[deuteranope]

they make pills for that

[unpocoloco]

Oh? So you know all about these things?

[deuteranope]

I have extensive knowledge of many things
but there is something I gotta ask
since we're on the subject
yo what that skeledick do tho

[yeah he's just. yeah.]

like you're a fucking skeleton which I'm pretty sure ain't normally conducive to being, yknow, a FUCKING skeleton

[unpocoloco]

Oh, I see. You want to talk about whether I can get it up. Whether Imelda is jumping these bones. Whether your Tía is giving them a rattle. Doing the monster mash, a graveyard smash. Some necromancing.

Well... you see...

It's very impolite to talk about a lady's business without her permission. You'll have to ask her about any boning going on.

[deuteranope]

"some necromancing" is real fucking good

and I ain't the one involving the lady in this, that's all on you, man
I'm tattling
gonna send her a fucking screenshot

[unpocoloco]

Why thank you.

You still started this. And more to the point, the lady is always involved because as far as I'm concerned what does or does not happen with this body in that particular way is entirely up to her and her discretion. Always has been, always will be.

[deuteranope]

didja have to get her permission to jerk it then

[this is the worst fucking conversation]

[unpocoloco]

You want to ask her if I did? You want to resign yourself to bringing this conversation her way?

[She really is going to kill them both.]

[deuteranope]

hey Tía, perezoso over there told me to ask you about his jackoff habits
and if his spunk glows like ectoplasm
I don't even know WHY he brought THAT up

[unpocoloco]

Technically, I think everyone's does under black light, if those creepy crime shoes are right. I mean, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be all bodily fluids.

Anyway, I think actually talking about this would genuinely put her off speaking to me for the rest of her life.

[deuteranope]

that's besides the point but yeah
except blood
well I mean it fluoresces but it ain't on the visible spectrum so they need luminol to bind with it
idk if we got magic cops that see that shit no problem or whatever

yeah she's a proper lady n all

[unpocoloco]

It's vital to the point. Somehow.
Really wierd that blood would be the exception. I'm admittedly burnt out on the whole death and murder stuff but the science is pretty fascinating. Do you think hunters count as magic cops?

She's a wonderful and typically dignified woman who is married to me, a corpse, which makes things infinitely more awkward jokes aside. I embarrassed her enough as I was without forcing her to talk about all that.

[deuteranope]

oh for sure they're just also the judge and jury
or
you know
bounty hunters
anyway yeah science is fucking great but it was absolutely not necessary to the discovery of "is your blowstick a glowstick"

yeah nah I ain't bringing it up with her it was bad enough when Cricket sent her a pic I most definitely did not intend for her

wow that sounds way fucking worse than it actually is

[unpocoloco]

Ugh. Point.
I also stand by my point that universal glowstick negates the need for further inquiry.

Yikes. I want to ask but I don't really want to know. I hope you made it up to her.

"Than it actually is"? Kid, we just went through a whole round of you asking if my parts work.

[deuteranope]

what I mean is she wouldn't get arrested or nothing even if she didn't delete it s'all

neither one of us is a proper lady or wonderful and typically dignified woman so we ain't held to the same standards
also just have anyone try tellin me I can't talk about whatever the fuck I want, see how that goes

[unpocoloco]

You know, legal things were actually not my worry at all. It's not like the cops are going to prove I'm dead. I've had one cop actually accuse me of utilizing pyrotechnics to look skeletal before believing I might be undead.

No, I just want to be sure Imelda's comfortable with everything, that's all I worry about.

And of course, any person trying to dictate over you is a fool.

[deuteranope]

okay but did they explain the science behind the pyrotechnics accusation because that sounds fucking rad

the legality of it should assuage some worries about her comfort level

[unpocoloco]

Dios, no, but I wish they had, I would've loved to know. Maybe prove them right in the process but it'd be worth it.

Ha, that's a fair point. I'll have to keep that in mind. Maybe not worry so much myself.